Too Many Voices

“Hi,” I say. Greeting the driver–first thing to do. I have to be friendly. Picking a seat: this is the hard part. Gotta chose one where I can see the whole bus. This one, sideways. Perfect. Fred sits down next to me. His face isn’t nice. He screams at me.
“Stop being so stupid!”
“Shut up, Fred. I don’t want to talk to you right now.” I say. Calm. He keeps yelling. “Shut up!” I scream back. That’ll teach him. Fred slinks down the aisle to the back of the bus.
I close my eyes. Hearing the rumble-rumble of the wheels against the pavement. It feels nice. Quiet and loud all at the same time. Nice.
I hear that stupid voice again. “They’re talking about you,” Fred calls from the back. “The one right next to me. He’s on the phone with his girlfriend and they’re talking about you.”
“Hang up the phone, buddy!” I yell. The man looks angry. I’m angry too. He keeps talking. “I said hang up the phone. Stop talking about me!”
“You gotta be quiet,” calls the driver from behind the wheel. “Be polite or I’m gonna havta kick you out.”
“I was,” I explain. “But they were talking about me!”
“Just be nice and shut up,” She says.
“Make them stop talking about me!” She doesn’t respond. Good. I stretch out my hand. It looks funny in the sunlight, always moving through shadows and bright patches with the bus. My fingers look short. Funny. A man gets on at the next stop. He’s wearing a huge parka and a Mao hat. He sits across from me.
“Nice hat,” I say. “Where’d you get that hat?”
“New York,” he replies. He looks down again.
“Take off the hat! What’s under there?” The guy doesn’t move. “Take off your hat!” I stand up and take a step towards him. He tips his hat for a second, and I can see the matted curls beneath it. He replaces the hat. “Take it off! Be polite!”
You be polite now. I wasn’t kidding about you having to get off,” The mean lady says again.
“Why you wearing a coat?” I ask the man.
“Because I want to.”
“It’s f***ing 98 degrees out. Why are you wearing a coat?”
“I can wear a f***ing coat if I f***ing want to,” He says. He stands up, and the doors whoosh closed behind him. The bus lady’s talking to me now. I don’t wanna hear her anymore. Her voice is annoying. Fred’s yelling at me too, now. I’m sorry I ever said hi to her. Stupid lady. “Shut up, Fred!” I call. He keeps talking. I don’t want to deal with him.
“I don’t want to deal with you!”
“I don’t want to deal with you,” says the bus driver. God, she’s so stupid. I wasn’t even talking to her. Can’t she see that I was talking to someone else? She’s so rude.
“Maybe you should be nice yourself before you ask me,” I say. I’m getting more angry. The bus pulls to the side, and a girl with purple headphones walks out. Soon, I’m back on my way home, listening to the rumble-rumble of the bus, and f***ing Fred, and the bus driver lady, and the man with the Mao hat. I wish everybody would just shut up.


It’s been a long time

Now I’m coming back home
I’ve been away now
Oh how
I’ve been alone

The Beatles

It has been a long time, way too long actually. My life has been so horribly hectic, though. I had a death in the family, and dealing with the aftermath of that has been very time consuming and difficult. However, I thought I’d share something with all of you!

The City

Walking through the street. You see everyone for who they are–what they are. There’s no hiding. Breathe in. The smell of sour milk, fryer oil, and body  odor wafts into your nose. Just keep walking.

“Spare change?” You hear. The first time you heard it, maybe you saw. Maybe your head turned and you saw the small, crumpled figure. But now you know. You learn not to flinch. Just keep walking.

The row of buildings along the street block the sun, even though it’s a warm day. They make you shiver, casting the street in darkness. Just keep walking.

The crowd pushes towards you. You’re swallowed by them, a hundred moving bodies engulfing you, small and insignificant. Hear them babble, talk to themselves, metal in their ears. You are alone. Stop.

Gives Me Hope

     Many of you have probably heard of or visited For those of you that haven’t, it’s a website where people can post brief stories about bad/embarrassing/ironic things that have happened to them. Some of them are hilarious, some are painful, and some of them make me worry about the future of mankind.

     There have been a lot of spin-offs of fml, so however much you love or hate your life there is probably some site out there about it. My favorite is As the website says, it’s “Like FML, but for optimists.” It’s filled with stories of true love, bravery, and random acts of kindness. I know it sounds corny, but reading through the posts really is inspiring.

     So, if you’re ever having a really bad day, or you just need some cheering up, visit gmh. You’ll end up feeling happier than you did before–I promise.

Love, Love, Love

Love. Such a weighted word (As my drama teacher would say, “Whooh”). Usually, it means…you know, love. What you go to see Dear John for. But, in honor of [a very belated] Valentine’s Day, I thought I might take a different approach.

Think about it. Love is what makes you happy (until it makes you sad, that is, but let’s focus on the first part for the sake of my post). And what makes me happy?

Love List

♥ Toile Wallpaper
♥ White and Blue
♥ Giant Headphones
♥ Big, “You could fit a dead body in here” bags
♥ The Beatles
♥ The words “Vintage” and “Curmudgeon”
♥ Guitar picks
♥ The smell of old books
♥ Black and White movies
♥ Furniture that’s modern and antique in the same room
♥ Free iTunes section
♥ Georges Seurat
♥ Chandeliers
♥ Gilt Frames with nothing inside
♥ Giggling until you get stomach cramps
♥ Cubes [of anything: ice, cheese, wood…]
♥ Cameos
♥ 1932
♥ Gardenias
♥ The Smiths
♥ Blu-Tac
♥ Lacquer Flowers
♥ Soymilk
♥ Funky land-line phones
♥ Brocade
♥ Grass
♥ Dandelion Seeds
♥ Drinking tea late at night

Okay. If you’re still reading this after all of that…

Make your own! I know Valentines day is over, but maybe now you can take pride in saying, “This year, Sailing is my Valentine” when someone asks you. It’s actually incredibly fun to make a list of things that you love. Try to go for less obvious things than “My Family”, “My Friends”, or “My Dog”. It’s imperative you love those things. Think about what makes you happy in everyday life, the little things that fill you with excitement when you walk past them.

Happy Valentines Day!

Love, Oasiss

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